Horse Trail Chicks

If you rode horses as a teenager, you probably could tell stories about the crazy things you did and wonder how you survived. If you are a teenager now, you probably do crazy things on horses and – one day – you will wonder how you survived. For me it was working around horses barefoot, riding horses that I could not control, and galloping bareback in a horse race down the beach that had an abrupt end (which you can read about here).

If you are now in your “older” years, you probably take fewer chances. You might even be fearful at times, despite being a strong rider and having always been brave. It’s easy to feel guilty or ashamed if you don’t want to do some of the things that your younger riding companions do. In the US we think of aging as a bad thing and use terms such as “decline” when referring it. We focus on what we’ve lost and take steps to make ourselves look or feel younger.

I look at it differently. First of all, aging is a natural process and so we might as well accept it. Secondly, we go through various developmental stages in our lives that serve very good purposes. The job of an adolescent is to explore the world and him- or herself. This involves trying new things and taking risks. Everything is exciting; too much fear would hold the young person back. Fortunately, the young body and mind can usually withstand certain mishaps. Falling off a horse might result in no injury at all or one that heals quickly.

The older adult, on the other hand, does not rebound from a fall as she did in her younger years. Because of this, our brains are programmed to protect us as we age. Fear is the mechanism by which our brain tries to get us to avoid doing things that might kill or maim us. At the same time, we don’t necessarily feel the burning desire to try new things and push our limits like we did in our youths.

This brings me to a theory of mine that I call “the pleasure-to-risk ratio.” Pleasurable activities such as horseback riding or rock climbing involve risks. When we are young we tend to perceive the risk as small and the pleasure as high, making the ratio of pleasure-to-risk very high. As we age, the ratio shifts. Although we might love an activity very much, it might not feel as new and exciting as it did when we were younger, so the perceived pleasure is lower. And, having spent some time on the planet, we know people – or have heard about people – who have been badly hurt or even killed doing the activity, so the perceived risk is higher. The pleasure-to-risk ratio decreases and, as a result, our interest in the activity can decrease.

There is no need to feel sad about this. It’s not a bad thing. The benefit of aging is we grow wiser (hopefully) and though we might not experience the intense highs and lows we did in our youths, there is something to be said for living on a more even keel. If we decide not to do something because the pleasure-to-risk ratio is too low, we don’t mind because we know what that what we are giving up, while it might be fun, is not necessary to our happiness in life. And it doesn’t even mean we are afraid.  We are just being smart. Wearing your seatbelt in the car doesn’t imply you are afraid of driving; it must means you know bad things can happen and so you take precautions.

For example, at the moment I am pondering a decision about whether or not to continue jumping. The only jumping I did in my youth was over logs and stone walls on the trail and I never took lessons until recently. My horse is also a very green jumper. It would be nice to jump with the rest of the pack when I go on hunter paces rather than go around all the jumps. But I also know that jumping is the most common horseback riding activity resulting in spinal cord injury. While I enjoy it, I don’t feel that passionate about jumping or feel that I absolutely must do it. Is it really worth the risk – albeit small – of a devastating injury? If I analyze the pleasure-to-risk ratio, it is not terribly high. Can I find enough pleasure in less risky riding activities to keep me happy? My favorite thing to do on my horse is gallop out on the trail. I find this extremely exciting (more exciting than jumping) and although I could be hurt doing it, it would likely be a less serious injury than one suffered when jumping. Bottom line: the pleasure-to-risk ratio is higher.

Right now I can hear younger people (including my younger self) thinking “don’t be such a fuddy-duddy, go for what you want, don’t let fear hold you back” or even feeling pity at this woman in her “declining years.” I chuckle at this because that’s not how it is (not to mention it being patronizing). This is a choice. If I give up jumping it will be my choice and one I make with the peaceful acceptance of a mature human being. I can feel glad at the thought that I have dodged a potential bullet and given myself more years of riding enjoyment. And there is no need to feel injured pride. I will continue to develop my partnership with my horse and gallop out and ride bareback and ride out in the moonlight until the day when I am perfectly happy to just brush him and feed him carrots.

Finally, when I am really old and have nothing else to lose, the pleasure-to-risk ratio will reverse again and I will throw caution to the wind and take a final awesome ride. Not a bad way to go, I’d say.

Happy trails,

Monica